Caution, Falling Moguls

SHEIGITZ You crass philistine! This was supposed to be my picture! I was to have total artistic control!

UMLAUT What's a few line changes?

SHEIGITZ Line changes? The blind concert violinist is now a Navy SEAL?



UMLAUT It's not that. It's Paula, my wife.

NUTMEAT Uh-oh, what gives, M.U.?

UMLAUT She's been having an affair with her co-star, Agamemnon Wurst. And who can blame her? Workaholic that I am, I turned a blind eye when she went off to make a film on location in Paris with number one box-office attraction in America. The film wrapped two years ago, and they're still on location. It doesn't take much to put the pieces together. (W. Allen "Caution, Falling Moguls")